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March 14

Step by Step

Today, if I need to talk or open up about something that bothers and weighs me down, I will not be held back by my old character defects of fear, uncertainty, anger, self-imposed isolation or the thought that I might come off as “unloading” or “dumping.” The program has taught that recovery is partly about mutual sharing and support, and I can’t expect either if I hide what I know I must give voice to, be it an admission of a wrong done long ago and still requires amend or the dread of saying I have been diagnosed with a potentially serious condition because to say it will make it true. In asking for help, I might not get a solution but I might get release from anxiety, fear, dread, loneliness and all those other traits of my emotional and spiritual disease simply by talking to an empathetic ear that might have some experience, strength and hope to share. Today, I will not be alone. I shall be a part of, not apart. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BACKING OFF

He has spent all his life letting down baskets into empty wells.

~ Sydney Smith ~

We can always resist an argument where there is obviously no chance of either side solving a problem. Taking time to evaluate the situation will save us possible embarrassment and apologies.

We don’t have to be winners in matters that are unimportant to spiritual progress. We have also learned there is no disgrace in changing directions when one way won’t work.

Of course nobody wins by retreating from a confrontation, but aggressiveness is sure to be useless. Sometimes backing off is winning if nothing if nothing is to b gained by confrontation. We can often avoid another blow to the wounded dignity we brought into our Program.

To void what is impossible to win doesn’t make me a quitter.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

He knows not his own strength that hath not met adversity.

~ Ben Jonson ~

A man who has never had difficult times, lived through the pain of loss, or confronted a big mistake has nothing to fall back on. In getting through our hard times we learn to know ourselves better. We find our strong sides and our weaknesses. And in the end, as difficult as some adversity can be, we have survived—and survival itself is a good thing.

Some of us are in the midst of difficult times today. From this spot we may not be able to see where the road leads next. We are fearful about how things will turn out. In the spiritual life, we accept that we cannot know where this path leads, or even what is around the next bend, but we never have to be alone. Because we will stay true to ourselves and do what is honest and fair, we can take risks to make things better.

Today I will rely on my Higher Power and my friends as my guide through difficult times.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Before I can become a significant other, I must become significant to myself.

~ Kelley Vickstrom ~

Why is it so hard to feel as if we matter? Putting other people’s wishes and needs before our own may seem natural. We may feel shame when we say no. As girls, we may have watched our mothers and grandmothers tending to the whims of everyone else. Probably without ever being told, we simply followed suit. What’s worse, we may not have even expected appreciation for our actions.

Now that we are learning to think of ourselves, we feel a bit selfish. However, we must begin to honor our significance, and we have to understand that to do so is not egotistical. In order to lovingly appreciate others in our lives, to treat them as significant, we have to value our own significance. Our Higher Power considers us significant; it’s time we followed suit.

Affirming my own significance will help me appreciate other people. Today I will value my interactions with others.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can ask myself: How am I doing?

Before I got into recover, I didn’t want to know what I was feeling or thinking. I couldn’t stand to look at my behaviour. I was in denial about my dual disorder.

Now I am abstinent and stable – no longer in denial. And I am learning to take care of myself on a daily basis. I realize that I can no longer afford to avoid my thoughts or actions – I might relapse to my addiction or have a setback with my emotional illness. A regular Tenth Step inventory helps me. It teaches me what to keep doing to help myself. It also teaches me what to stop doing to avoid hurting myself.

Today I will set aside five minutes to answer for myself the question, How am I doing.

©1995 by the author. All rights reserved. Published by Hazelden®

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.

~ Amelia Earhart ~

When we feel angry, lonely, worried, or sad we can ask ourselves, “Is there a pattern here?” That simple question can help us take a giant step forward in recovery. When we feel these things, most of us feel like victims. We’re not used to taking responsibility for our part in our problems. If we find ourselves broke again, ending a romantic relationship again, having the same argument this year that we had last year, we may have established a self-destructive pattern. Not because we’re stupid but because we aren’t familiar with happiness, and stir up what we know best: misery.

Looking for patterns in our behavior and accepting responsibility for them takes honesty and courage. But when we put aside our fears and really see what we’re doing, we’ve taken a huge step in changing. Happiness may feel downright strange at first, but we can get used to it.

Today help me see the patterns I create, and grant me the courage to change.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There are always two voices sounding in our ears—the voice of fear and the voice of confidence. One is the clamor of the senses, the other is the whispering of the higher self.

~ Charles B. Newcomb ~

During one Sunday service, a religious leader asked his congregation to pray for something that would make each of their lives better. Then he asked them to share what they had prayed for.

One woman had just lost her job and had no health benefits nor income. She said she had prayed for a new job. A man was concerned about his wife’s serious illness and had prayed for her recovery. A mother shared a prayer for her adult son to give up drinking and become a better father to his children.

One member’s prayer was unique. She had asked for the ability to let go of any fears, doubts, or insecurities she might have and to trust that no matter what happened to her, it was the right thing. Having trust that your life is under the care of the divine oversight of something greater than yourself can free you from worry and assure you that all is well.

I still my fears through prayer. Each day, I pray for the wisdom to be able to live in each moment and to handle whatever comes my way.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.

~ Isaiah 30:15 ~

By lifting and stretching we stimulate our cardiovascular system, firm up muscles, and add to our strength. But how do we build our spiritual power, increase our strength of belief, build firm foundations of faith, and shape our ability to hope?

Increasing physical power takes time, dedication, and work. So does increasing spiritual power. We need to spend more time in prayer and meditation with our Higher Power, building a strong relationship. We need to work hard at relying upon our spiritual guide to help us in times of need.

We need to awaken and exercise our spiritual muscles by taking Step Eleven every day and night. Prayer once a day does little to improve spiritual power, as sure as one deep knee bend each morning does little to improve leg strength. Just as we would set up an exercise program, we need to schedule our spiritual program. At first it will be hard, but through patience and practice, we will become spiritually stronger every day.

Higher Power, I want to lift the weight in my heart. Help me find ways to develop and exercise my spiritual strength.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Making amends

There is no benefit in trying to make amends until we are entirely willing to do it. We must be ready to make our amends without pre-conceived ideas about how the other party will receive them.

The success of the amends Steps does not depend on the acceptance of the other party but merely on our total willingness to admit where we were wrong. There is magic in working the amends Steps, magic we can never believe in until we work them.

Have I made all of my amends?

Higher Power, help me to be willing to ask forgiveness of you and to admit my mistakes to those I have wronged. Please remove my fear of doing so.

Today I will make amends to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

We should pray as if everything depended upon God, and act as if everything depended upon us.

~ ABRAHAM JOSHUA HESCHEL ~

Newcomer

I hear so much about “letting go.” But there are serious situations going on in my life that I can’t ignore. Am I supposed to assume that things will get better on their own if I just let go?

Sponsor

The phrase “letting go,” as it’s used in the program, doesn’t mean ignoring problematic situations, reneging on commitments, or repressing feelings. On the contrary, recovery makes it possible for us to take the responsible actions we feared and avoided when we were active in our addictions.

“Letting go” challenges our illusion that we’re in control of the universe, but it doesn’t suggest that we do nothing. There’s a difference between acting responsibly and thinking we’re in charge of how things turn out. We’re responsible only for the actions we choose to take, not the outcomes. When we take an action that we know to be right, we change ourselves in the process. The effect on others is out of our hands. We don’t have power to change other people. Nor can we change the past. Letting go means accepting our human limitations. It’s a great relief to know that we’re neither the cause nor the cure for most problems.

Today, I let go and let God.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is very noticeable that most of the great religious teachers or prophets prescribed nothing but a code of morals and ethics. All their teachings were characterized by an almost complete lack of formal religious observances.
They have pointed out the direction but never the path. If we follow other men’s paths we fall over the same stones they fell over and we got lost where they got lost. Each of us must carve out his own path and the progress we make will be determined by our own efforts to advance.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Set boundaries: keep boundaries.

2) A slip occurs when the desire to drink is stronger than the desire not to drink.

3) Misery is an option. But acceptance and gratitude did not come as standard equipment either.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Light a Candle

O God of my understanding, light a candle within my heart, that I may see what is therein and remove the wreckage of the past.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHAT DID JESUS TEACH?

Jesus Christ is easily the most important figure that has ever appeared in the history of mankind. This is true whether you choose to call him god or man. His life and death and teachings have influenced the course of human history more than those of any other man who ever lived. There can hardly, therefore, be a more important undertaking than to inquire into the question of what Jesus really did stand for.

What did Jesus teach? What did he really wish us to believe and to do? How far does the Christianity of today present his message to the world? What did Jesus teach?

…for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21).

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you (John 15:12).

If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it (John 14:14).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Becoming

I call on your pride. Remember what you’ve done, what you dream of doing, and rise up. Great Heavens, consider yourself with more respect!

~ Gustave Flaubert’s advice to a depressed friend ~

While waiting at a stoplight, I found myself next to a thrift- store truck transporting donated clothing and household goods. On the side of the truck, a huge sign suggested, “If It’s Not Becoming to You, It Should Be Coming to Us.”

Every person and thing in this world has a purpose and a right place. If you are using and enjoying what you have, then bless it. If it is not working for you or if you don’t use it, pass it on—it has more value elsewhere.

I once took a job in a sheltered workshop for mentally handicapped people. While the job offered many valuable lessons and rewards, I was not happy there. For months I guilt-tripped myself for wanting to leave, and rationalized all sorts of reasons why I should stay. Egotistically, I believed I was doing a better job than anyone else could, and if I left, these unfortunate mentally handicapped people would be bereft. I even made up a story in my mind that I had been mentally handicapped in a previous life, and some kind fellow had taken care of me; now I was repaying the karma I owed. Finally, I got sick and realized I would rather leave and take my chances than wither in the position. The moment I gave notice, I felt free, healthy, and alive again. At that point my career as a writer took off, which has blessed me immeasurably. When I later visited the workshop, I saw the fellow who replaced me was doing a far better job than I ever did. Out of guilt, I was stealing his job from him and withholding my right work from myself!

Make a vow to participate in only those career and social situations that are becoming to you; if not, let them “be coming” to someone else.

Give me the strength and wisdom to be in my right place.

I claim my right place and support others to be in their right place.