Have you read the Big Book. It is the text book of AA. A blueprint to recovery. I related to a lot of it although it took me several years to find the self-honesty I needed to look at it for myself instead of for the alcoholics in my life.
Stay safe for the holidays. Remember that we do this program, one day at a time. It is important for me to keep to the basics. Go to meetings, talk to my sponsor and my support, don't put myself in places that are triggers. If I have to go somewhere, it is important for me to take along a friend if I can. I found that I had to have a back up plan. Have my own way home, give myself permission to leave if I didn't feel comfortable and safe.
The two things I tell myself, "Don't pick up, no matter what." "Remember God is with me." I don't go any place I can't take the God of my understanding with me.