[bluidkiti]

December 21

Wisdom for Today

In the world of addiction I became a slave. I sold my own soul into captivity. There I was, chained up in the bowels of a ship, journeying into the world of self-destruction. Day after day passed, and I continued to live in bondage to my alcohol and drugs. I was not alone, for there were other slaves there in the belly of the ship. I watched as one after another was beaten. I, too, was beaten. I watched, and I saw the destruction of this disease take away all that was important to me. I watched as others died. I feared for my own life.

I look back and am amazed that somehow I was freed. The chains of addiction were loosened, and I was able to get a second chance in life. There is no doubt that I was scarred by the trauma of slavery. Just because I was freed did not mean that I was able to function normally. It would take some time for that to occur. The scars of my disease, those character defects, needed time to heal; but like all serious scars, a mark remains. I no longer bleed dishonesty, grandiosity, fear, unrealistic expectations, carelessness or self-centeredness. But each of these personality flaws is still a part of me, just like the marks left by a serious wound. So, I need to be on watch to make sure that these defects do not begin to ooze again. If and when they do, I must again do the things necessary to stop these defects from infecting my life again. I must ask for help from God and from my friends in recovery again and again to find the needed healing. Do I watch for my character defects to re-emerge?

Meditations for the Heart

Standing watch requires self-discipline. I need to be on guard and not fall asleep on my watch. I cannot afford to fall prey to a sneak attack or yield one point of what I have gained. Hatred, resentment, pride, lust, jealousy are but a few of the armies that can attack my camp. I need to remain a good soldier with self-discipline to stay alert. When I do see an attacker, I must sound the alarm by telling on my disease. By telling on my disease and by trusting my army for help, I can defeat any attacker. I cannot fight these battles on my own. I need help from my Higher Power and my support system. I must talk with my sponsor and at meetings and in prayer to find the best method to defeat these attackers. Am I working at self-discipline and remaining alert?

Petitions to My Higher Power

God,
Today I will stand watch for my character defects that come back to attack me again. Help me to be a good soldier with self-discipline and to remain alert. Let me sound the alarm if it is needed, and prevent me from selling my soul back into slavery.
Amen.